I met a man a few months ago that held me in thrall just like a horrific accident unfolding before me. I gave him the nickname of Chookman with my girlfriends because of…well actually that would disclose his identity. Let’s just say his nickname gave us much amusement.
I knew from his photos that he was lying about his age. His profile said 49, but I figured he had to be at least 53. I fronted him about this in one of our first conversations. “How old are you really?” I asked.
“49,” he replied.
“What year were you born?”
“1962,” he shot back.
“Will you show me your driver’s license when we met?”
“Sure,” he said.
Our flirtation was intense. He told me he was a successful business man. He ran an advertising agency. I should have known then that his version of honesty was somewhat different to mine. He had a 6 year old son from a recent relationship. He had been married 20 years ago but had no children from that relationship.
Our first dinner was at a swanky restaurant. He knew his way around the wine list and after conversing with the sommelier ordered one of my favourite bottles of shiraz. I half joking/half seriously asked to see his license.
“Not now,” he said. “I’ll show you later, don’t you trust me?”
“No,” I said. We both laughed.
The conversation moved on to other topics. He talked about the plans for his 50th. His sister wanted to organise a big party. We discussed his first marriage and how he realised he had made a mistake. He walked away from the marriage, their farm and the country community in which he had grown up, in pursuit of his dreams in the city.
“That must have taken courage,” I said. “Imagine how much harder it would’ve been if you had kids.”
“Yep,” he replied. “I felt guilty enough just leaving my wife, she didn’t want me to go. But I knew I couldn’t stay. I was 27. I could see each year of my life unfolding before me just the same as the last and it simply wasn’t enough.”
He told me he had left her the property, everything and started over with nothing. She had remarried and still lived there with her family. He had seen her a few years ago but didn’t keep in contact.
Being in the Ad game he was a great raconteur and kept me amused and entertained throughout the hours of the date. We were the last to leave the restaurant. He wanted to kick on but I declined. We organised our next date, lunch and a drive to a country town that we both loved.
“See you tomorrow,” he said as he kissed my cheek good-night.
The next day an hour before we were due to meet he rang and said, “I have to tell you something, I’m really 56.”
“Why lie?”
“I hate getting old. I don’t feel old so I don’t tell people my real age. I know you probably won’t see me again and I’m sorry but I really like you and don’t want to lie to you anymore.”
“Oh,” was all I could manage to get out. I was bemused.
“Are you still coming?” he asked.
“I don’t think I can.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I put the phone down and looked at all the potential date outfits laid out on my bed. I put them back in the wardrobe, changed into my gym gear on and headed out to work off my frustration.
Enrichment Lesson 57: “It ain’t over until the fat lady sings.”
Greetings.
It is originated in the nature of human beings to be ,to some extent , reluctant to tell the truth in relation to the age , & this characteristic – as it were – is more familliar in people of female sex than in those of male sex ! It can be attributed to a psychologically – obtained feeling that the more one advances in age , the more s/he will seem inactive & , consequently , the more her / his beauty will be negatively affected which will make that very one no longer attractive as s/he is supposed to be ! Although this does NOT represent the fact behind the case , but it IS there !! One may consider it as one of human beings’ faults . What is true in relation to this case , is that there are so many people , of male as well as female sex , whose beauty is never affected by being advanced in age , on the contrary , for – sometimes , not always – there are people who look more beautiful with their advancing in age ; this is due to the fact that beauty is NOT restricted to the facial expressions or features , it is NOT associated with the sort of the nose , the lips , the eyes and the like , but it is to be associated with SPIRITUAL values & dsciplines which are enriched by the experiences one has throughout his / her life ! Thus the more one advances in age , the more experienced s/he will be , consequently , the more her / his spiritual values are enhanced & enriched ! This is on one hand .
On the other hand , This short story reflects the potentialities the writer has which is evident in the way :
1 – the characters are drawn or presented : the writer never relies on the EXternal action the man ( chookman ) works out on the stage of the story ,but she penetrate within the ” self ” of this very man to uncover the reality behind this false appearance ( she has a sense or a feeling that he was telling lies in relation to his real age ,but she never relies on her own sense or feeling and continued obeying or following him as she accepted his invitation to the restaurant !!)
2 – the narration is directed : although the narration goes on , apparently , in a straightforward manner , there are some technical aspects intentionally used by the writer to enhance the coherence of the narrative discourse , such as the creation of a cause – and – effect interrelations among the unities of the narration , the use of the technique of suspension ( this is in relation to the suspected age of the man , which is uncovered at the end of the story !!) !
3 – the spatiotemporal( the setting , place & time ) is treated : this is another technical aspect which is evident through the shifting from a stage to another during the course of narration as in the firs part of the dialogue which happened in the past , but being recalled now , it is no longer belonging to the past , it is presented in a way that changes it into the so – called present history !
4 – the satisfaction , on the part of the reader , is achieved : It is due to the writer’s skillfulness that the reader is satisfied with what is going on on the stage of the story , she is careful to make everything here take on a logical nature , this is true , not in relation to the arrangement of the events ( the plot ) only , but to the sayings of the characters ( encluding the narrator ) …too , see how the man justifies his telling lies about his age and the reasons he gives to hide the reality of his age !!
So many things can be said about this brilliant short story which has established the potential of the author as a short story writer . My warm greeting to this brilliant woman writer hoping she ‘ll interest her with more wonderful literary works in her coming literary product !!
Moin Jaffar Mohammed / Iraq – Babylon
Hi thanks for your feedback its always reaffirming to receive praise for your writing- cheers BTC